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DAD'S CORNER

David Wayne; On Being a Digital Dad

author

Hanzky09 Jul 2012

David Wayne; On Being a Digital Dad

Semua orang sekarang akrab dengan internet dan segala yang ditawarkannya, baik untuk para pekerja, pebisnis, ibu rumah tangga sampai para pelajar. Banyak dari pekerja kantoran yang memang tuntutan pekerjaannya untuk terus-terusan berada di depan laptop. Nah, kebayang nggak bagaimana ceritanya para pekerja di dunia digital? Bukan 9-5 lagi yang diharuskan berakrab ria dengan gadget, tapi 24/7. Mereka semakin dituntut untuk lebih responsif dan dikejar kemana-mana. Kalo BBM belum dibalas, dikejar lewat Whats app, di-DM, di-Tweet sampai ke Path juga. Ck ck, memang seperti tidak bisa lari dari pekerjaan.

Berikut ini, David Wayne, seorang ayah baru yang juga seorang Business Development Director di Merah Putih Inc & CEO Lintas. me (Indonesia largest social aggregating & curation) yang sangat mencintai pekerjaannya berbagi cerita tentang pengalamannya dalam beberapa bulan ini menjadi ayah dan bagaimana dia mengatur waktunya dan menyiasati bagaimana supaya gadget dapat memberikan manfaat daripada petaka untuk keluarga. Bagusnya, David segera menyadari bahwa ada peraturan yang harus diterapkan dan dijalankan.

Apakah sudah memperkenalkan gadget ke anak?

Tanpa disengaja sudah, padahal baby Emma masih berusia 6 bulan, tapi kalau liat papa atau mamanya lagi sibuk main iPad pasti langsung coba ngambil sendiri dan pencet-pencet, hehehe, dan juga karena hampir semua foto saya pake gadget, jadi dia sudah biasa liat ke photo camera :)

 

 

Peraturan apa kira-kira yang akan diterapkan ke anak dan pemakaian gadget di rumah?

Karena baby Emma masih kecil, belum ada peraturan yang dibuat. Tapi saya dan istri sudah komitmen janjian kita tidak ingin sampai anak kami terlalu bermain gadget. Kita pingin anak kami nanti tumbuh normal seperti anak kecil biasa, yaitu bermain dengan mainan, mewarnai buku gambar, masih main boneka, dan aktivitas lainnya di luar atau di dalam rumah. Walaupun saya sendiri gadget freak, tapi kita sadar kalau anak kecil sudah terbiasa dengan gadget lebih banyak kontranya daripada pro. Skill communication, sosialisasi, jadi terganggu karena semua aktivitasnya akan seputar gadget, jadi nggak mau bergaul dan main dengan teman-teman lainnya. Dan juga attention juga tidak terlatih, karena jadi terlalu fokus di Apps, atau Games di iPad jadi tidak terlalu sensitif dan aware dengan keadaan sekitar :) Mudah-mudahan ke depannya saya dan istri bisa terus komitmen untuk bisa mengarahkan anak untuk tumbuh lebih seperti anak kecil zaman dulu :) Banyak memang orangtua 'tergoda' to let their kids play on iPad for too long because it's the easiest way to control the kids and get them to sit still, or as distraction when we try to feed them. But in the long run, I don't see that as the right way.

Mengingat pekerjaan di digital itu basically 24/7, ya, bagaimana mengatur waktunya antara kerjaan dan keluarga?

I can safely say I'm very much a family guy. I have promised my wife that as soon as I'm home, I will turn my Blackberry off. And most of the time, I don't bring my laptop with me. Email nggak langsung dibalas sebenarnya tidak masalah.Dunia tidak akan runtuh jika kita baru membalas email keesokkan paginya, kan? :) If something urgent comes up, people can call me. And also another commitment I made is every Friday night at 7 pm, I switch off my Blackberry until Sunday evening, to check if there's any urgent matter for the Monday morning I need to prepare.

Weekend is a family time, jadi saya nggak pernah bawa Blackberry, selalu dalam keadaan mati dan ditinggal di rumah. Family for me is the ultimate definition of success; not career. Kalau keluarga telantar, no matter how successful we are at work, it doesn't mean anything. It's a tough commitment to make in the beginning, but if we explain well to our colleagues and partners, clients, they can understand and respect that :)

Do you think being a dad is easier now that we live in the Internet world or it actually makes it harder to be present?

It can be both, it's easier, because now as a new dad, I can find things, information about babies on sites like Mommies Daily, Baby Center, etc. It's very helpful to get other people's experience and sharing. In the same time, it's tough because with Internet, life becomes full of distraction. And even worse, later on when our baby grows up, it's a terrifying world out there on Internet, things that we never want our kids to be exposed of.

Btw, how has being a dad changed your life?

It changes everything. Life has more meaning, purpose. It puts everything into perspective. it humbles you. Babies don't care who we are, what we do, what our achievements are, etc. They just want us to hold, kiss, be present, and care for them. So I have taught myself and constantly remind myself that it's really all about them. Fatherhood, or parenthood in general is a mission, task given by God to nurture and take care of the baby to be the person that God has planned for them. It is our job as the parents to ensure our children to feel safe, comfortable, love, and support to prepare them for this tough life.

 

Social media can drive couples apart. What do you do to prevent that from happening?

Well, we always put trust above everything. Unfaithfulness, or any destructive actions in marriage can come from any kind of sources. Social Media is kind of putting a steroid in terms of bigger, easier opportunities to be unfaithful. Myself and my wife never really put any rules in this area, but we just trust each other and respect the decision of why we're together :) And I'm very blessed and lucky to have a wife who is loving, trustworthy, and secured.

Sebagai orang yang bekerja di dunia digital, biasanya mencari informasi tentang parenting di mana?

Both my wife and I are very actively using 1 apps on iPhone called 'Baby Center', and subscribe to 2-3 newsletter on babies and parenting. Often time, we also check out forum in Mommies Daily to get information from other members. On top of that, we read a lot of magazines and books. We bought 2 version of Everything You Need To Know When You Are Preparing, and also the other is the First One Year. My wife follows a lot of Twitter feed and Facebook Fan Page of Baby Center too. Kebetulan saya dan istri gila baca, gila research on Google and we both love children very much so always actively regularly consume information on baby care, parenting, food, nutrition, mommie's exercise, sampe finding out the right Doctors and clinics for our baby.

 

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Thank you for sharing, David. It's always nice to hear stories from an involved dad like you. Enjoy your new journey :)

So how about you, Mommies? Peraturan apa yang diterapkan di rumah untuk seputar gadget?

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